BOOK REVIEW. Why? Because words are fun.

Image source

I recently read Tyler Hamilton's book The Secret Race about his career in cycling. It pays particular attention to the widespread doping that marred the sport during his time as a professional.
But hey, if you want a proper review on the book here are some links cause I'm not offering that:

Bike radar review

NY Times review

David (someone or others) review

Right, now that we've weeded out those who want engaging, informative, quality book reviews we can continue.

My take in 5 points:

1. Despite the fact I read it in 1^1/2  days, it is not a picture book. This is not a bad thing. It does have pictures, just not heaps. The one's we do get display some 3rd degree tan-lines, juiced athletes saddled up on retro bikes and proof that not all drugs make you massive. Exhibit A - 

   

   "Um, my steroids aren't working, but this thing sure does tickle."
   Image source
2. Lance Armstrong was a dick.
3. Lance Armstrong is a dick.
4. Don't by hardcover books. Sure the order of all the words is the same but golly gosh they're annoying. I was forced to buy hardcover. Not at gun-point or in the world of cycling, needle-point, it was all the bookstore had left. Big regrets now. I was travelling at the time, say goodbye to about 1/3rd of my backpack space. I considered paying exorbitant amounts to get stowaway for the book alone. 
5. If you're writing a book don't use purple on the cover. There are exceptions of course if your book's titled something like Purple, a colour or The complete encyclopaedia of Eggplant. But don't forget that purple represents sexual frustration. It's true, my school blazer was purple and the fact was rammed home every day by other school kids. To be fair it was very befitting of me  at the time. Can we also take a moment to recognise the image on the front cover - a bit suggestive considering it's encompassed by 'sexual frustration.' It's not mentioned in the book but is Hamilton suggesting something here? He did room with Armstrong after all. Maybe some lies are too hard to tell? Maybe Armstrong was The Secret Source of sexual frustration? Maybe I'm just being really immature? Hmm........something to think about.

So I suppose I need to give it a rating like all the best reviews do. And I guess I should make it quirky by giving ratings with some far-out yardstick, a la stars for movies.

RATING: 

4 out of 5 blood transfusions.

If you're a giraffe, searching for a bike, look no further

I took this pic in 2011 when visiting family in Brighton, England. Having rummaged through my archives I dug it up and all it managed to do was present questions. So many questions.

• Where are all the clowns?
• Where's the step ladder to get on?
• Where's the step ladder to get off?
• Does it come with a harness and bungee cord for safety? 
• What happens when you pull up at a red light?
• If you bothered with a rear light, would any drivers see it? 
• Why am I the only one taking a photo of this crazy thing?
• Why are there people sunbathing? It's not a beach, look closely, it's covered in pebbles. That's not a beach. You need sand. Sort your game out Brighton.

You can see that the chain is detached, which suggests that someone in the past has simply forgotten their insanely oversized bike at the beach or they've left it there as a public art installation. Either way, seems a shame that such a unique machine is being left to rust. 

Kn*cks n D*cks

It appears this Polish team's knicks were equipped with extra padding at the front. Unfortunately it was cheap material and had a tendency to warp. 

Can't say it's a problem I've ever had. *sad face*

Thankfully they're professionals and it didn't seem to affect them too much, as displayed here by the fact that they were all still able to stand to attention pre-race.

Image source: sportzfun.com

But what would this blog be without a little bit of Aussie Pride?

It may be quite pixelated, but some things appear in sharp focus.
It's quite clear where these lads stand on the issue of a Republic or a Monarchy. I think Princess Anne knows as well.

Image source: rowingservice.com