MTB Bandits

Ok, so it's happened. I've ridden a mountain bike. As in properly ridden one, not to the shops and back to get milk, (Probably A2 milk, if you're asking), but properly out in Lysterfield Park.
My mate Pat took me on an off-road adventure, and let's just say BMX Bandits came to mind. But then again it's not really BMX Bandits considering:

1. We weren't riding BMX bikes,
2. We weren't terrorising innocent civilians as they enjoyed their summer popsicles,
AND
3. Neither of us was the real Nicole Kidman before, well...'the work'.

If you haven't seen BMX Bandits, you haven't lived.

So instead we settled for M.T.B Bandits and duly adopted our nom de plumes: Rippr & Treadz

L to R: Rippr & Treadz

As with most posts that I provide the photography for I managed to take a number of shots of nothing in particular. In addition to this, I didn't manage one photo of the actual off-road tracks we churned over. What I did manage, was a heap of photo's of flat paths and trees, making it look as though mountain biking for me consists of riding on some gravel. 

Let's start with what MTB photography CAN look like...

Source

Source

And here's me blowing the lid on excitement...

I even have 2 old men sharing a chat in this last photo to display how freakin' wild*  I really am.

'But these negatives matter not,' (as Shakespeare would say in a sentence structure more befitting his time than ours), because the photo’s do the experience an injustice. That is to say it was considerably more exciting than two old men on a bench.

I had a number of experiences where my bowls compacted into near nothingness as a result of sheer fear. At one point both of my feet simultaneously left their respective pedals, during such an even one might consider it a formality to ‘drop their bundle’ so to speak. I did no such thing, but came close. What instigated the sweats most were those winding root/stick/loose earth/death riddled descents where I would watch as I slowly lost control of most things. You know those times where you just hold your breath for no particular benefit and gradually recede further towards an eventual blackout that seems easier than dealing with your impending doom? I sorta had the early stages of that. Thankfully, because the paths are constantly changing their mind on how best to throw you from your bike, I found ways in which to remain connected with my instrument…the bike that is. There always appeared a get out of jail free moment at the perfect instant to whisk me away from a heavy dirt bath.

Upon finishing our 16km's of hectic fun, we found time for some classy tourist shots. 

That's me next to the Dam...um, thing.

That's me acting like a dickhead.

And capped off the experience with a well-earned Mountain bike Short Mac. Apparently the hills keep going once you're off the bike.

So it was a great day all round and I will most definitely be hitting up Trailmix Bike Hire again soon for another ride. At $35 for the first 2 hours it's well priced fun.

Sure next time I may wear an adult-nappy for those close calls, and dink Mr Miyagi so he can literally kill every individual fly that approaches, thousands of them. Who knows, maybe next time I'll even take a photo of something more than nothing.

Previous post: Things that amaze me

*Italics are even more wild!!!**

**And '!!!' too!!

Things that amaze me...

Sometimes you just see stuff that demands a double take.
Here's a coupla snaps I've managed to steal in the last few weeks that show how diverse Cycling can prove to be.
Sure, we may have been to the moon, (by we I mean they, I myself have not been to the moon). But did Neil, Michael or Buzz rock the moon[boot] as emphatically as this gentleman has?

The City of 

MELBOURNE

Welcomes cyclists.

Where someone else loves your bike just that little bit more than you.

And I quite like this photo to finish. It's from Noosa, where some would say I recently 'holidayed' for 8 days, I prefer to say recently 'sweated' for 8 days.

I feel the effect would be complete if the seat were changed for a saddle, but what sort of a cafe offers a numb arse with your morning coffee and gets away with it?

Thanks for reading! 

Happy New Year!

How good is this, even my New Year's post is late.

Wow, that last month of 2013 really threw me a doozy (is that how you spell Doozy? I'm not sure).
Hence my lack of posting.

How's everyone's 2014 so far? Mine's going great up in Noosa but this state really does kick up a stink in my pits. Armpits that is. I'm calling it my 'Queensland stink' and it aint pretty.

So anyway, in terms of cycling I've found someone up here training for a Triathlon, suffice to say, once he spoke these words the fly was mine. I quickly wrapped him up in my web-of-obsession and we now have a ride planned this weekend. Bike buddy: Check!
A quick call to Bike On in Noosa and my Trek 2.3 is arriving this Friday afternoon ready for a weekend of cycling bliss. Can I just say, Tracy from Bike On was an absolute darling. What a phone manner. Make that woman a nurse!

By the way, my New Years resolution? Become fluent in Spanish.
Some may say that's not cycling related but I plan to earn the nickname 'El Pistolero' by seasons end.

Image source

This does not mean I plan to hit the Clenbuterol...sorry, I mean dodgy meat...sorry, I mean bullshit excuses*.

*Of course in Mick Rogers' case it was dodgy meat. That man's a Saint. Just cause he's been associated with a disgraced doctor and currently rides with a man convicted of the same offence means nothing! Aussies don't cheat. Just ask Stuart O'Grady...no wait. Don't.

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