5 things Förstemann can get away with that we can't

All in the track, most in the cycling and some in the outside world will know Robert Förstemann.
He's known for one thing...well, two actually. Two very bulbous things below his waist. Now hang on, I'm not straying into pornographic territory (although in a way this is a kind of cycling porn).
As illustrated by the picture below, dear Mr Förstemann is generally associated with his Quadriceps. Not the other way around.

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I suppose in the same way well-endowed women have issues with people talking to their chests, Robert would have issues with people talking to his legs.

Compensating for something perhaps?
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I wondered though, whether Rob was taking advantage of having what look like two nondescript toddlers hugging each leg. If not, I’ve compiled a short list of things he can be doing that the rest of us scrawny mortals can't as a means of getting him started. 

1.     Legitimately Go Commando.

2.     Not get teased for wearing lycra because on anyone else it’s just another pair of XXXXL shorts.

3.     Crack nuts between his thighs. Which probably happens on a daily basis anyway.

4.     Sink in water without the use of cement shoes. (Not sure why the rest of us would be dreaming of doing this one but whatever, a good party trick nonetheless).

5.     Clap with no hands.

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So there you are Mr Förstemann. I hope you will now go away and start acknowledging the privileges you have granted yourself and maximise the leg-up you've given yourself. 

And to finish with a horribly poor joke.

What bet does Robert Förstemann always go for at the TAB?

Well, I'm sure you can finish that one in your head rather than me publish such dross.

Thanks for reading!

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